THE PRINCIPLE OF GRACEFUL DISTANCING,
& THE RELATIONSHIP RING MODEL
Or “How to Relate Appropriately to Every Other Person in the World”
|The Law of Mutual Consent states that no one has the right to insist on maintaining a relationship in which the other party is uncomfortable. The Principle of Graceful Distancing allows a person to have an appropriate and respectful relationship with every other person in the world, according to the Relationship Ring Model.
Thus, the Principle of Graceful Distancing is a process enabling two people to decide, using the Law of Mutual Consent, the precise amount of involvement they wish to have with one another. This can range from the intimacy of living together, to the formality of greetings on the street, to total avoidance. Through application of the Principle of Graceful Distancing, an individual can regulate the frequency and intensity of every relationship in her/his life, insuring that in each is a maximum of mutual comfort.
Graceful Distancing and the Law of Mutual Consent also provide a context for relationships to grow toward "greater" intimacy, i.e. the “distance” in Graceful Distancing can increase or decrease.
Once one is consciously involved in Graceful Distancing, it becomes easy to examine all relationships and put them in their proper categories, starting with one’s closest associations and moving out toward the unknown, i.e. those whom one does not know or know anything about.
The key to articulating one’s Relationship Rings is being clear about one’s values in order to determine the amount and degree of alignment with another person’s values.
|Below is a brief description of one possible ring model (each person needs to define her/his own relationship rings).
Label the center as: 1.
Label the ring closest to the center as 2.
Label the next largest as 3.
and so on with the largest ring labeled as 8.
1. Self, as a sovereign individual.
2. Partner(s), with whom there is an agreement on the BASIC 13, and with whom mutual goals are pursued on a daily basis--most intimate ring.
3. Platonic friends with similar interests and with whom there is on-going contact--relationship is growing towards greater intimacy.
4. Platonic friends with similar interests with whom there is only occasional contact and/or relationship is static.
5. Relatives with whom there is regular, on-going, congenial and respectful communication.
6. Trade contacts/work colleagues.
7. Acquaintances and historic relationships which have no future.
8. Everyone else in the world: indifference with reasonable, responsible concern for humanity, i.e., Humanitarian Love.
This page was last updated on 11/20/2006, 9:55 pm
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